Is my life a mess much?

Oh yes it is.

Are things getting better?

Yes they are.

In a matter of months we lost so much, it’s mind altering. The world has turned upside down and is not going to turn back. I’m still trying to regain my balance. I doubt it will be back any time soon.

I miss Frodo. I miss my Simone, I miss knowing exactly who I am, but most of all I miss my Brent.

I hate to see my mother lose her hair, and throw up for days when she has her chemo, it makes me equally sick to the stomach, and frightened about the future.

I love Frodo’s house, now ours, we call it Bag End. I love cycling through town on Brent’s bike, sucking up the spring sunshine like it’s a drug. I love the fact that spring means easter means lots of singing to be done.

I love the fact that through losing Frodo and Simone we’ve met and love so many new people, their friends, our friends, who, by proving to be amazing people, underline that Frodo and Simone we just that. Amazing.

I look forward to being at the airport and seeing Brent again in June. He’d better wear protective clothing, I will crush him if he’s not careful.

I look forward to finishing all Simone’s knitting projects. That girl had a serious case of SSS on her hands and I will finish every last stitch on every sock and give it to their rightful owners.

This week, it almost looks like someone found the lightswitch that was lost late last year. Plans erupt, trying to push me into action. Singing, knitting, enjoying company, smiling at new things and old memories, blogging must be done.

So here we are. At Bag End. Wanna see? I actually wanted to take a picture of the beautiful tree at the end of our road, but it turned out  as a picture of the whole street.

~ by jantientje on April 17, 2009.